The Return Read online

them were almost empty. The first two had plastic wrappings of biscuits and cookies. The other had an empty jar sitting atop the top shelf. The other two were completely empty except for the ants that were gathering at the center. Rushika supposed the cabinets must have contained something sweet at one point, though the man had never given her any chocolates or jam. On her birthday, she had been given a sweet milk biscuit once.

  She closed the cabinet and walked outside, trying to hear sounds that would signal he was nearby. She passed a small table outside another room that had envelopes on it. Most of them were marked with red block letters, but she paid no attention to them. The words didn't mean anything to her.

  The next room that she came upon had a small TV set in one corner and a tattered couch in front of it. There was a tray on the small wooden table on which was a plate of a half-eaten sandwich. No pills.

  "Are you in here?" she asked softly. No reply.

  She padded into the small passageway and then gasped. There was someone there, right in front of her. A girl.

  "Who is that?" she crept closer. The passageway was dark and so she could only make out the silhouette of the girl who had long hair that fell to her tiny waist. She was tall and she could make out the outline of her short dress.

  It was when she was five feet away, that she saw that the girl wasn't wearing a dress, but a man's pale gray shirt, all buttoned up. She had no shoes on her feet and her skin was pale and grayish.

  "Who are you?" she asked.

  The girl stared back, blinking.

  "Have you seen him?"

  The girl looked at her, before slowly shaking her head. Of course, she understood who she was talking about. This was his house after all.

  Rushika swallowed. Her thirst returned and her throat felt scratchy. "What's your name?"

  The girl didn't reply, only lowered her eyes. Rushika looked down at her own feet and saw that they had become dirty while walking around the house.

  "I'm Rushika." The girl seemed to find trouble talking and she needed to get her talking to find out where the man was and where he had kept the pills.

  "I came here when I was seven."

  The girl stared at her wide-eyed. "So did I."

  Rushika crept closer. The girl had dark, wavy hair. Her eyes were a soft brown and her chapped lips were a pale pink.

  "How long have you been here?"

  "Almost eleven years." the girl said in a raspy voice.

  "Have you seen him around? He didn't come to see me today."

  The girl shook her head.

  "Did he ever give you pink pills?"

  The girl nodded.

  "Do you have any? Any left?"

  The girl only stared at her. Rushika licked her lips. "I didn't eat today. Or had anything to drink."

  "Neither did I." The girl said.

  "He was supposed to take care of us. I wonder where he went."

  "Jardin was never that irresponsible before."

  "Who?" Rushika asked.

  The girl looked at her as if she was crazy. "The man who has been taking care of us. He practically raised us, and you don't know his name?"

  Rushika sniffed. "He never told me."

  The girl smirked. "I guess there are somethings I know more than you. Maybe he liked me more." she tilted her hand and studied her from top to bottom. "Maybe I was the favorite."

  Rushika felt her throat clench. " Why would you say something mean like that? He didn't have a favorite. I know him. He was kind and sweet. He would never like one of us more than the other."

  The girl grinned. "You can't know that for sure."

  Rushika didn't want to talk to that girl anymore. She was mean. Jardin wasn't a partial man. This girl was wrong and didn't know him at all.

  "Did I hurt your feelings?" The girl must be tall, but she was stooping as if her body was slowly losing strength. But that wasn't stopping her from goading her.

  "I'm looking for the pills. I need them." Rushika turned all around her, looking for a room that would lead her to wherever the Jardin kept the pills.

  "Why? Are you sick?"

  Rushika looked behind the girl and saw light. "I think you know where they are."

  "You didn't answer my question."

  Rushika bit down on her lip hard. "I just want them. Jardin gave them to me everyday and he wouldn't like it if I missed today's dosage."

  "I think you need to ask yourself why he gave you those pills." The girl pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and Rushika saw how pale the girl was and what deep dark circles she had under her eyes.

  "For nutrition, I suppose."

  "Did it give you a lot of energy when you ate them?" The girl had amusement in her eyes. She was clearly mocking her.

  Rushika lowered her eyes. "It made me sleepy."

  "Why did he want you to keep sleeping all the time? You need to ask yourself that question." The girl leaned against the wall and folded her arms.

  Rushika swallowed and her throat hurt again. She should be thinking about getting that glass of water, but all she could think of was the pill. If only the girl would help her.

  "You look thirsty. Your lips are dry, you keep licking them for moisture. There's a kitchen right behind you. Why don't you get yourself a glass of water?" The girl had one hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow.

  She must think she was stupid to not even get herself a drink of water or a morsel of food and keep asking for the pill instead.

  "I will. Later." Rushika knew she was getting defensive, but she didn't know the girl who only intended to ridicule her.

  "You know, there's a door right behind you," The girl said staring into her eyes. "You should be thinking about leaving. After all, this isn't your home. It's somewhere else. You don’t belong here. There's no need to stay here at all."

  Rushika scratched the side of her face. "He needs me here. He made me promise that I never leave."

  "He's not here anymore." The girl took a step forward and Rushika immediately backed away. "When he's not here, the promise you made to him, also don't exist."

  "Jardin is here somewhere," Rushika was on the verge of tears now. She just wanted to take the pill and go to sleep. And when she woke up, she knew that he would be here, smiling down at her with a tray of orange juice and a slice of bread."

  "He's not." The girl shrugged. "You saw the letters as you came in. They are all bills. He's in great debt. He has no money, so he ran away."

  "He can't!" Rushika screamed at her, tears rolling down her face. "He won't just leave me here."

  "Of course, he can." The girl gave a chilling smile. "You're not his daughter. He kidnapped you when you were a child. You have a family who is looking for you. Don't you remember them?"

  Rushika wiped her face. "Wh-what?" She put a hand on her head. Her mind started to fill with images of a man and a woman, playing with her. Smiling at her. The man had dark hair, brown eyes with long lashes and a friendly grin. The woman had dark hair as well, that fell in curls down her waist. She was laughing and kissing her cheek.

  "You remember them," The girl said. "That's good. That is where you need to be. Not here. Not with Jardin."

  "N-no, I can't. I can't just leave."

  The girl smiled. "Except you need to. Jardin may have taken care of you, raised you. But you have a family of your own. Jardin isn't your parent, he's your kidnapper. Go. Go, now!"

  Rushika shook her head. "No, no!"

  "Jardin is deep in debt. He can't take care of you anymore," The girl practically screamed. "That's why he's been giving you the pills so that you require only one meal a day. That is all he can afford. You saw the kitchen. There's no food in there."

  "He's gone out to get more."

  "You remember the voices you heard once," The girl said. "You remember how that man talked about how Jardin hadn't paid the money he owed. Then you heard him talking on the phone, asking someone to let him deal drugs. He's a drug dealer. Surely you
know that. Because I did."

  Rushika took another step back, as if she had been struck. "Jardin couldn't have abandoned me."

  "He's a bad man. A criminal. You need to go back to your family." The girl's voice softened. "You need to go home."

  "I don't know where I am." Rushika sobbed.

  "Go out and find someone to help you."

  Rushika looked at the girl. "Come with me."

  "I can't," The girl said. "But you need to go."

  "Why not? Come with me, please. I'm scared."

  "It's okay to be scared," The girl said. "You need to just take the first step. And then everything will be okay."

  "Please, come with me." Rushika wailed.

  "I can't. I can't walk." The girl looked sad. "I can only stand, but not walk out."

  "I'll get you help."

  "Do that. Go find someone to help us." The girl smiled then, though her eyes looked frightened and sad.

  "I will," Rushika said. "I promise I'll bring help and come back."

  She turned around and rushed to the front door. As she had feared, it was locked. Rushika kept tugging at the door knob, but kept hearing the click of the lock.

  Scanning at the environment around her, she saw a dying potted plant, a small table on which was a tattered book and a painting of a boat on rough waters in front of dying sunlight. Rushika went back to the kitchen and looked all around.

  She had checked the cabinets and didn't remember seeing a key.

  "Where could it be?"

  "Hey!" The girl called out. Rushika rushed to the passageway and saw the girl still standing and smoothing out her white frock. "He's not going to leave the key out in the open, is he?"

  "I guess not." Rushika lowered her eyes.

  The girl chuckled. "He had a key-chain. It was a toy, I think. A gorilla."

  "Must be the room key."

  "Yes, except that there were other keys hanging from the key-chain as well."

  "Jardin has the keys. He always has the keys." Rushika put a hand on her forehead. "And he's not here."

  "Hmm. Except..." The girl pushed the curtains outside and peeked out. "His blue pickup is outside. The very same car that he used to bring me here."

  "That means, he's still at home."

  The girl looked pained when she spoke. "This isn't home. You know that." Then she changed her expression. "He could have gone for a walk. The keys could be here. Or it could be hanging on a hook. Or in a vase. Look for it. Go!"

  Rushika rushed back to the tiny living room and started to look inside the vases and small boxes made of plastic. She still couldn't find the keys and was getting ready to cry again. Then she looked at the wall where a beige jacket was hanging and walked towards it.

  When she didn't find anything else hanging on the hooks, she put her hand in the pockets of the jacket and finally clasped her hand around the plastic gorilla. Pulling out the keys from the inside pocket, she went back to the passageway.

  "I found it!" she said with glee, holding up the bunch.

  The girl smiled. "Good. Now go get help."

  "Come with me."

  "I told you, I can't. I need help. Go find someone."

  Rushika hesitated. Maybe, she could help the girl herself. Put her arm around her shoulder and drag her out. But Rushika also knew that she hadn't eaten or drunk anything. Chances were, the rest of her strength would wane before she made it a few steps outside.

  She would collapse with the girl and if they were in a deserted place, no one would find them.

  "Okay." Rushika turned around and rushed to the door. There were four keys in the bunch, and she had to try out two before she found the one that fit. She opened the door and saw the orange, pink and blue sky. The sun was setting and casting the last of its light on the ground.

  Rushika took her first step outside and let out a tiny moan without even realizing it. This was the first time in a long time she had stepped outside. After such a long time, eleven years, she was finally outside, breathing in fresh air. It was humid outside, but she still embraced the warmth and sniffed. Flowers, there were flowers somewhere nearby.

  Just as she had thought, she was in the middle of what appeared like woods. Except, she caught a peek of roads from between two trees. Where there was a road, there would be cars. Someone could help her.

  She took a few more hurried steps and almost tripped over her own bare feet. Suddenly it was all too much. The area around her was vast. There was too much to see, to much to hear. The birds were chirping, there were crickets somewhere nearby. In the distance, a dog was barking.

  The air was warm, sweet...suffocating. She collapsed then. Beneath her was the grass she hadn't felt for years. It was soft, but also uncomfortable on her skin. She didn't want to feel it anymore.

  "Help me," she croaked.

  It was getting darker and the streetlights started to come on. The lights were blinding her. They were too harsh. She blinked and raised an arm.

  "Somebody...help!"

  Her vision was blurring, but she could make out a portly woman in a blue-gray nightgown, rush toward her.

  "Are you okay?" Her voice was alien to her and hurt Rushika's ears.

  "I need help," she managed to say as she felt her breath slow down. Then she was closing her eyes and falling into a pit of darkness.

  Two days later, Rushika's life had changed. She awakened in a hospital, was informed by the doctor that she was now doing well. Then there were men in uniform by her bedside, asking her where she was and if she remembered who she was.

  Properly fed and bathed, Rushika had the energy to answer relentless questions before she was told her family had come.

  Family. She had a family and they had come for her.

  The woman that entered her room wasn't recognizable to her. As was the man. They were crying, hugging her and all Rushika could do was try to remember what her parents looked like.

  They used to have soft sun-kissed skin and dark hair. The people in front of her had lines on their faces, their brown eyes were dull and their hair was almost gray. They looked thinner than she remembered.

  "I'm so glad we got you back." The woman was sobbing and hugging her.

  Rushika just looked at her. She was being told that the woman was her mother and the man her father and they had been waiting for her return. But Rushika was thinking about the man who had taken care of her for all these years.

  Where was he? Why hadn't he given her the pills?

  A month later, she was living in a small villa that had a small garden in front of her. This was supposed to be her home, but it didn't have pale blue walls and the doors weren't chipped. She no longer had to sleep on a mattress and had her own room. There was a dressing table in her room, a shelf of books and a bed with bedsheets that had flowers on them. The walls were cream and she had window by her bed that she could open.

  Her meals were timely and delicious. Her mother told her that she loved potatoes as a child. Her father told her she loved to read.

  Rushika would only look at them, trying to remember the girl she used to be before she had gone to live with the man.

  Lifting her spoon, she tasted the potato salad her mother had made and forced a smile at the nervous woman who was sitting across her from the table. It tasted good, but she longed for the bread and juice the man would give her.

  Another month passed by, and she had to talk to people from the news. The whole town was apparently elated at her return. Rushika smiled, nodded, answered in small sentences. Everything was still strange to her and inside, she was screaming.

  It was only later, after she had gone to bed that she had a thought that made her sit up. The girl. The girl who had helped her in the house. Where was she?

  She swung her legs off the bed, when the door opened and her mother walked in.

  "You're awake."

  Rushika looked at her wide-eyed. She wanted to tell her mother that she had to go, that
she had to help the girl. But her mouth wouldn't open and the words stuck to her throat.

  Her mother came over to switch on the bedside table lamp and sat down on the bed. She looked so much like her, Rushika thought. She looked older and her hair was thin and tied in a long plait that hung down her left shoulder. Dressed in a lavender gown, her mother looked very pretty, but the truth was that she didn't know her that well. Not as well as she knew the man. Jardin.

  "I've been checking up on you every night," Her mother spoke. Mrs. Tarani, that's what the police officer had called her. "You've been sleeping well and your father and I were very relieved. But I also wished we could get some time to talk."

  Her mother smiled. "Almost everyday you've had to give some sort of interview or the other and your father and I didn't want to press you with more questions. We thought you might be traumatized."

  Rushika blinked at her, not knowing what to say.

  Her mother pressed her lips together and Rushika saw tears in her eyes. "I'm so happy you're back." She pulled Rushika close and hugged her. "You have no idea what we have been through. We thought we would never find you."

  Rushika couldn't raise her arm to hug back her mother if she wanted to. Her thoughts were still with the girl.

  After a few seconds, her mother let go and caressed her daughter's face, then brushed a lock of hair away from her forehead. "I wanted to ask you." she wiped away and took a deep breath. "I know, the doctors said that you weren't harmed. But I wanted to hear it from you. Rushika." Her mother sniffed and took Rushika's hand in hers. "Did he hurt you? Did he touch you, where he wasn't supposed to?"

  Rushika stared at her mother in shock. Jardin would never hurt her. He raised her like his own daughter. He had fed her, clothed her and given her the pink pills that made her feel nice.

  "Rushika? Did he?" Her mother's lips were trembling and the grip on her hand tightened a little.

  "No," Rushika said, her voice sounding like a breath. "He would never hurt me."

  Her mother looked relieved and let go of her hands. Clasping both hands in her lap, her mother sighed. "I was so worried when I learned what happened to you. Living all these years with a strange man. It took some time, but when the police went into that house and found your pictures, they immediately matched it with the pictures we had submitted to the police to report your disappearance."

  Rushika looked at her. "Pictures of me?" As far as she could remember, Jardin had never taken pictures of her.

  Her mother nodded. "Yes, there were pictures of you sleeping. He took them ever since you were little and had a drawer full of them." She shook her head slowly. "I don't understand how someone could just do something so horrible like that. That heartless beast, took my little girl away from me."

  Rushika turned away from her mother. She wouldn't understand. No one would understand that Jardin wasn't such a terrible man.

  "You must be tired." Her mother got up and Rushika was relieved that she might be leaving. "Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight? It's been so long since I've held my baby in my hands. Ever since you've come back, the media has spent more time with you, than I have."

  Rushika moved to the side of her bed, not knowing if she wanted what her mother did. Her mother smiled and got into bed with her. Rushika lay down slowly and turned on her side, away from her mother so that she would understand that she